are you still at the devil's house?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
