Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
