i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
