I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
