I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
