It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
