watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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