It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
