I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
