It's like a parade of train wrecks.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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