Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
