think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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