he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
