So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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