I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
