fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
