There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
