i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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