The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
