Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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