we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
