They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
