I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need water and some morals
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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