idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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