how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
