3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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