drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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