this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
