I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
