i don't like sucking hair
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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