oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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