i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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