Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
