i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
