Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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