I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
