I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize