I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
