Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How naked do you want me to be?
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