Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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