I'm lost and stupid without you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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