I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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