): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
