NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
