can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize