im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
