I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
