Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
