Acid is not a monday night drug
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
