The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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