btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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