So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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