Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize