I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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