fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
