you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
