she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The Olympian is in my bed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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