Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
