i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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