he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm always down for nudity.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
