you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
