Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
