you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
tequila makes me forget i have legs
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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