Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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